


Dear Mom

by daisysakura



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Bovinos are jerks, Brotherly Love, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Language, mafia business
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:27:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26314900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daisysakura/pseuds/daisysakura
Summary: Nana Sawada has always been Lambo's only mom. When she gets sick and the odds are against her, Lambo refuses to believe she won't get better. He learns life isn't always fair but we still need to deal with whatever it throws at us. And if we're lucky, we don't have to deal with it alone. Lambo is definitely not alone.
Relationships: Lambo Bovino & Vongola Tenth Generation
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	Dear Mom

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS: Language, death of a loved one, depressing, based on a true event. Proceed at your own risk.

It can't be real. There's no way this is actually happening.

Lambo watches as the paramedics load his mother into the back of the ambulance; the ambulance he called for after finding her on the kitchen floor struggling to breathe. He's never been so terrified.

"Kid, are you coming?"

Is he? Yes, he is. The man leads him to the passenger seat before going around and getting into the driver's seat himself. He can't see towards the back where the other paramedic is working on his mom but he knows she's there, making sure Nana's still breathing. Again he thinks, this can't be happening.

He knew his mom had been sick. He'd been terribly sick just the past week with his mom having to take care of him. It was normal for her to have caught whatever bug he'd had but...why had she gotten worse instead of better? He hadn't become this ill and that just made him feel even worse. Why? This was his fault. He'd gotten his mom sick and now she was heading to the hospital. His heart hurt with the guilt.

They reach Namimori General in record time - Lambo not even realizing they've stopped until the paramedic quickly gets off to help his partner with his mom. He follows after them at a distance but he can still see her, his mom wearing an oxygen mask but still looking deathly pale. And are her lips turning blue?

Nobody seems to be paying attention to him. Actually, it seems nobody has realized he's even there. The paramedics are too busy shouting off symptoms and the medicine they gave her on the way while the doctors give their own orders as they do what they can to save his mom. She shouldn't need saving.

He watches as several people work on her, injecting her with who knows what, as they take her vitals and move around her. A doctor shouts for someone to bring in a ventilator and Lambo begins to shake. He stares as a nurse pushes a big machine into the room, several doctors talking about putting her under as they insert a large tube down his mom's throat.

This isn't real.

One by one, the staff walks out of the room. His mom laying in bed while a machine breathes for her. What just happened? His mom shouldn't be here.

"Shit, the kid."

He hears the paramedic who drove them here say. Somebody guides him down the hall into a plain-looking waiting room without any trouble. Lambo is in a state of shock, not sure what to do. A lady in scrubs tells him to breathe but he doesn't understand what she wants from him. Breathe?

He takes a deep breath and realizes he'd barely been breathing. He feels lightheaded in his seat, the nurse running a hand down his back trying to offer some kind of comfort. He doesn't want comfort, he wants his mom.

"Is she going to be ok?"

The nurse smiles sadly, talking to him like he's sure she does every day to other people. "We're going to do all we can to make sure she's fine. In the meantime, we need to get a hold of an adult for you. Is there somebody we can call?"

Call? Oh, right. He can't make any decisions, he's just a fourteen-year-old kid. "My brother. He's in Italy but I know he'll be here as soon as possible."

She says something else but he's not paying attention anymore. He's pulled out his phone and is already dialing his brother's number. He realizes it's half-past eleven in the morning which means it's half-past four in the morning where Tsuna is. His brother will immediately know something's wrong. It only rings twice before a drowsy but alert brother answers.

" _Lambo? What's wrong?"_

How does someone deliver bad news over the phone? Does he apologize for calling so early or does he tell him mom's in the hospital fighting for her life before apologizing? He takes too long to answer.

" _Lambo, are you ok? Do I need to call Kyoya?"_

Kyoya, right. Lambo completely forgot he had other siblings. "Tsuna-nii, mom's sick."

There's a slight pause on the other line. " _How sick?"_

The teen can hear movement coming from Tsuna's side of the conversation and knows he's probably going to notify the others in case they're needed. They will be. Lambo's going to need everyone here because there's no way he can handle this on his own.

"She's at Namimori General." Does he tell him about the ventilator? About her lips turning blue? Does he confess that this is all his fault? He wonders all that as he walks out of the room and into the hallway, trying to get away from his babysitting nurse.

" _Ok. Ok, I'll call Kyoya so he can wait with you while we fly back. Have they said anything about mom's condition?"_

Lambo isn't listening. He's watching in horror as an alarm blares down the hall, hospital personnel rushing into his mom's room. The nurse by his side tries to get him back into the room but he doesn't want to. He drops his phone without a care as he tries to run back to his mom. The nurse again tries to grab onto him but he's stronger. He makes it to his mom's room before somebody much bigger grabs him by his waist and pulls him back. The nurse? Doctor? He doesn't care who it is that grabbed him because whoever it is, is too late. Lambo saw his mom seizing, her body shaking terribly while people work around her.

"Mom? Mom, wake up!" He shouts as loud as he can. She can't die, not like this. She wasn't even that sick. "Mom! You gotta save her!"

He's struggling against several arms now. Trashing against their grip as he keeps trying to get to his mom. "Calm down, kid. You can't go in there, they need room to help your mom."

Lambo doesn't care. His body reacts almost instinctively, elbowing someone just like Hibari taught him. He needs to be there with her. He needs to...he needs his mom. "Mom!" The woman who cared for him since he was five, the one who didn't have to but took him in and made him a part of her family. She showered him with love when his biological mother threw him away. He owed her everything.

_"I love you so much, Lambo. You're **my** son, never forget that, ok?"_

She had told him that so many times throughout the years. She never let him forget it; instead, she wanted him to forget the previous life he'd had before meeting Tsuna.

"Mom!"

He's not sure why it happens at first, but his body seems to be shutting down. His eyes begin to close against his will and he's sure somebody gave him something to shut him up. "No, please. I can't leave her! Mom! Please, not my mom." He slurs before his body gives up fighting. Whatever they gave him does its job and he falls into a deep sleep.

* * *

.

.

.

He feels sore when he wakes up. While his mind is a bit of a haze, he's sure it's from his fight against the hospital staff. He must have fought harder than he thought to get to her side. He had wanted to know what was happening - he'd wanted to be by her side. Now, though? Now he's scared to wake up. Lambo is terrified of what might have happened while he was unconscious. He curls into himself, hugging himself tightly as tears being to slowly fall down his face. This is his fault. His heart feels heavy with the guilt but now it's also in pain.

"Lambo, are you awake?"

Through sobs, he manages to ask what he desperately needs to know but doesn't want the answer to at the same time. He's never felt so scared. "Is she alive?"

"Yeah, she is."

He begins to cry but this time from sheer relief. He hears his brother stand before walking to crouch down in front of Lambo. Yamamoto smiles, placing a gentle hand on top of the teen's head. "She's stable but she's still very sick." The Rain Guardian tells him. Lambo can feel his brother's rain keeping him from panicking. "Try not to worry, the doctors are doing all they can to make sure she gets better."

"This is my fault, Take-nii. I got her sick and now she's...she's-" Lambo doesn't know how to finish the sentence. She's what?

"Hey, look at me."

Lambo doesn't want to but he does.

"This is not your fault, ok?"

Lambo shakes his head. "I was sick first, Take-nii, you know I was. If I hadn't gotten sick - if she hadn't taken care of me then she wouldn't have gotten sick. I'm not stupid. I put her here." He sobs.

Yamamoto pulls the teen up then wraps his arms around Lambo, holding him close as he cries. "It's not your fault. Even if she caught the same bug you had it's still not your fault. Do you really think she would have left you alone knowing you were sick?"

Lambo knows she wouldn't have. She would have used her intimidating smile on anyone who would try keeping her away from her son.

"Besides, she was already not feeling well when you were sick in bed. You both must have caught something during one of your adventures."

Lambo wishes that was true but he's not sure if he can believe it. After a few minutes, Lambo pulls away from his brother and lies back down in his bed. "Why do I have my own room?"

Yamamoto chuckles as he sits on the edge of the bed, gently pushing the teen's legs to the side as he does. "They had to give you a strong sedative when you wouldn't calm down. They gave you this room to keep an eye on you and make sure you didn't have a bad reaction to it. You know the training we put you through is for self-defense, right? It's not supposed to be used on hospital personnel trying to help you."

Lambo winces. "Did I hurt anyone?"

"You gave one of the nurses a black eye but he was more amused than upset. I know you must have been under a lot of stress, probably not thinking right, but you should still apologize when you get the chance."

"I will, I promise. But for now, can I see mom?"

Yamamoto's confident smile turns into a frown, his face becoming somber, and Lambo's fear returns at full force. He thinks back to every time his brother mentioned his mom and realizes not once did he say she would be fine. All he said was that the doctors were doing what they could for her.

He sits up, looking at his brother with worry. "Take-nii, what aren't you telling me? What's wrong with mom?"

"Lambo, the doctors are doing all they can to-"

"Don't bullshit me, tell me what's going on!"

Lambo pushes Yamamoto away, quickly getting to his feet but needing his brother's help to stay steady. Apparently the sedative hasn't completely left his system but that's not going to stop him. Thankfully, he's still wearing his clothes minus his shoes.

"You should still be in bed, you've had a lot to deal with and your body needs rest."

"I don't care, Take-nii. I'm going to go see my mom with or without your help."

Yamamoto doesn't budge. He gently but forcefully helps Lambo back to the bed, the teen not making it easy on him. They're both arguing when a voice draws their attention to the door.

"Lambo, what are you doing?" Tsuna asks wearily. He looks tired. Lambo almost feels bad for making things worse but this is his mom they're talking about. He's not a kid anymore, he has every right to know what's going on.

"Tsuna-nii, please?" He doesn't say more knowing his brother will understand. The Tenth walks over to where Lambo is half-on, half-off the bed with Yamamoto's hands still on the teen's shoulders. The Rain Guardian offers Tsuna a comforting smile and a pat on the shoulder on his way out of the room, probably to meet up with everyone else. The exchange only makes him more anxious.

"It's bad, isn't it?" He asks with a slight tremble.

Tsuna sits next to Lambo, his face so weirdly unreadable it makes Lambo want to cry. "The doctors are doing all they can for mom but," Tsuna takes a breath. "Lambo, mom's in a coma. They're not sure if she's going to wake up again."

No, that can't be right. He had just seen her not that long ago. She was fine. Sure, she'd had a cough and some cold-related symptoms but she was fine. That wouldn't put her in a coma. As if reading his mind, Tsuna adds: "She developed pneumonia. She wasn't getting enough oxygen to her brain, her heart was working hard to help and-"

His voice fades away as Lambo tries to process what he's being told. A coma. That's bad. He remembers how the doctors put that tube down her throat, he remembers her seizing and looking as pale as death...he feels sick. He pushes Tsuna aside as he runs to the bathroom in the room, barely making it to the toilet where he empties whatever he'd had left in his stomach. His throat burns, his head hurts, and he's not sure what's going to happen. He feels a pair of strong hands on his back, one helping move his hair away from his face. This can't be happening.

"It's ok, you're going to be ok, Lambo."

He just cries more. He can't be ok when his mom isn't. She's the one who made everything ok, she was the one to comfort him when his siblings weren't around (which is most of the time.) He needs her. He's only had her for about eight years - that's not even close to enough.

He finishes heaving, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. "Tsuna-nii, I'm scared." He whispers.

Tsuna helps him to his feet, hugging him tightly. "I know. I am too but we can't lose hope, ok? We need to stay positive and trust everything's going to be alright. Shamal is already on his way to see what else can be done. We'll do everything we can but we need to trust mom to keep fighting, too."

Lambo nods. If anything just because he doesn't know how to reply to that. He's scared but he doesn't want to think about the reason why. He doesn't want to think about the what if's and what will happen if things don't go the way they all want them to. He'll just nod, and hope his brother's right.

* * *

.

.

.

It has been four weeks since his mom was admitted to the hospital; four weeks of uncertainty, not knowing what would happen. Four weeks of getting good news, four weeks of getting bad news. They couldn't even visit her because her immune system had been compromised. They couldn't visit her because they could make her worse. They could kill her. Nobody wanted that. So they'd settled for daily updates. Each time Tsuna's phone rang, Lambo would tense. What if this was the dreaded call they didn't want to receive? What if mom had taken a turn for the worse and there was nothing else they could do? What if? The last time Tsuna's phone rang, it turned out to be a wrong number. Lambo just about pulled his hair out.

After two weeks in the hospital, they'd taken her off the ventilator and had a tracheostomy performed. They'd said a tube inserted into a hole in her throat was an improvement from the ventilator; it's good news. Everyone had waited for her to wake up even when the doctor had said it might not happen. She didn't. The doctor said she might be suffering from permanent brain damage. That even if she did wake up from her coma, she might never be the same person we all knew and loved. I didn't care how she came back as long as she did. Iemitsu thought otherwise.

" _I know this is hard for you boys, but your mom wouldn't want to live like this. We'd talked about it before and she didn't want to be kept alive by machines."_

" _You're wrong, she wouldn't want us to give up on her," Lambo replied._

" _Lambo, she wouldn't-"_

" _Tsuna-nii, tell him. Tell him he's wrong."_

_Tsuna had looked devastated as he turned to the teen. "We can't be selfish. If this is what mom wanted then we should respect her wishes. Dad has no reason to lie about this."_

" _No, you're both giving up on her. She would **never** give up on you, she would never stop fighting! You can't let her die!"_

That had been three days ago and Lambo still wasn't talking to either of them. They'd kept her on full code until the doctor was sure there was nothing else to be done but so far, the progress wasn't good. Lambo was on the edge of losing it. He hadn't been able to sleep through the night, he kept dozing off in school during the day, his appetite was basically nonexistent, and every little thing set him off.

I-Pin had done her best to be there for her best friend but nothing seemed to be working. Fuuta was quiet and distant but he still tried helping his only younger brother to no avail. Lambo was closed off to the world and nobody could get him to open up. He was self-destructing and everyone knew it but nobody knew what to do. Then Fran showed up. They had a fight that ended in blood and bruises but Lambo was finally able to get his frustrations out. It didn't make anything ok but the teen didn't seem to be one word away from exploding.

One month after it all began, they received the call. Mom wasn't getting better. Her vitals were dropping and they didn't think she'd make it through the night.

"I'm not going," He told his brother.

"Lambo-"

"Her immune system is too weak, we could make her worse. I'm not giving up." He told the Tenth. The doctors may have given up on her but he wouldn't. She was still fighting and as long as she was breathing, he wouldn't lose hope.

"We're not giving up on her, Lambo, but we need to trust the doctors know what they're talking about. If, and that's a big if, she doesn't get better, then this will be our only chance to see her. You know she'd want to see you too."

Against his better judgment, Lambo went to the hospital with everyone. They took turns going in alone, each of his siblings having something to thank Nana for. When it was his turn, Lambo thought about running away. He couldn't do this. He couldn't say goodbye. His heart was breaking into pieces.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Tsuna asked. His eyes red and blotchy from all the crying he'd done during his turn. With a shake of his head, Lambo walked into the room.

She looked peaceful. Her eyes were closed, and it almost looked as if she had a subtle smile on her lips. She didn't look pale but she wasn't her usual color, either. She looked pretty normal if you ignored the machines around her and the tube still in her throat. Lambo walked up to her bed and held her hand as he tried to stop his own from shaking too much.

"Mom, I'm not giving up on you. You need to keep fighting, ok? I-I need you too much. I love you, mom. Please, don't leave me. Please, you can't die. You-you're my mom. You have to stay and take care of me until it's my turn to take care of you. It's not fair, mom. Please, please don't leave me."

He starts to cry. This can't be real. He needs to wake up from this terrible dream. He hugs her as best as he can with the tubing around them. He hopes against hope his hug will be enough to somehow make her better. "Mom, I love you so much. You're my mom, never forget that." He whispers as he rests his head on her shoulder.

He stays like that for a few minutes. He can take his time since he was the last one in line to see her. It's not until the machine begins to sound that he steps away. Tsuna and Iemitsu go to his side immediately as her doctor walks in and turns the machine off, checking his watch as he does. He gives the nurse the time who writes it down on her tablet. What are they doing?

"Tsuna-nii, why aren't they doing anything?" He asks his brother. Tsuna wraps an arm around the teen's shoulders.

The doctor offers his condolences as does the nurse before walking out of the room. "Where are you going? You gotta save her!"

"Lambo, she's gone."

He pulls away from Tsuna with a shout. "No, they need to bring her back. Why aren't they doing anything? They need to do compressions or use those paddles or anything!"

"Lambo, I signed off on her DNR. There was nothing left to do but let her go as peacefully as we could." Iemitsu says before walking over to Nana.

Lambo wants to scream. He turns to Tsuna who is now openly crying. "You knew."

"Lambo, this what she wanted. We couldn't-"

"You let her die. I hate you! I hate you!"

Lambo runs out of the room. The room where his mom died, the room where Iemitsu and Tsuna let her die. He ignores the call from his other siblings. Yamamoto tries to grab him by the arm but Lambo turns and punches the Rain Guardian in the face. Yamamoto, not expecting it with his own tears streaming down his face, falls back in surprise. Lambo runs to the stairs, not slowing down as his mind tries to process what's just happened.

His mom is gone. His mom, the only woman to have ever loved him unconditionally, is gone. His heart is beating fast, his head is pounding, but his blood feels cold. He feels cold, numb. He can't accept this. He can't. His mom was the sweetest person in the world, why her? Why not Lady Bovino instead?

As soon as her name enters his mind, he knows where he needs to go. He knows what he needs to do. Without a second thought, he pulls out his cracked phone from his pocket and ignoring the incoming call from Gokudera, he tosses it into the nearest trash bin the second he steps out into the first floor. He runs out of the lobby, again ignoring the shouts to stop from the security this time.

His mom was gone while Lady Bovino still lived. With anger and hurt in his heart, he hails a taxi and gives the driver directions to the Bovino Estate. There's something he needs to do, and even if costs him his life, he will get it done.

He swears it.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in a moment of anger and frustration. I really thought it was much longer than it is because it was that hard to write. It might feel disorganized or not that great but that's because it's literally how I'm feeling. I just needed to get everything out.
> 
> My mom passed away last month. It still doesn't feel real even though I know it is. She was in the hospital for a month fighting against this damn virus we hear about on the news on a daily basis. We haven't even buried her yet because the cemetery didn't have any available dates until this month. I'm a mess. I didn't want to give Nana the virus because nobody else should suffer from it but she still needed to go because I was in too much pain to spare her. I still don't know how to handle it.
> 
> My mom always encouraged me to write my frustrations out so that's what I'm doing. I tried going over this but I'm honestly not 100% sure I did a good job. Thank you for your understanding and I'll post chapter two soon.


End file.
